Review: The Last Final Girl by Stephen Graham Jones


Today, I am covering the Stephen Graham Jones novel, The Last Final Girl, which bears some resemblance to the new Riley Sager novel Final Girls, but is just plain weird.

What both novels have in common is that several “final girls” are thrown together and have to respond to a new series of murders, and perhaps one or more final girl is a murderer or collaborating with the killer.

Beyond that they are very different books. The Last Final Girl is just plain bonkers, and is written in an equally bonkers style. Stephen Graham Jones wrote the entire novel in screenplay format, and this is something that readers will either love or hate. I find it a bit distracting at times, but does help one imagine the story in a cinematic way and almost begs someone to adapt the novel into an actual film.

The story itself is even weirder. The final girls all have names that reference real slasher movies, such as Crystal Blake and Mandy Kane. Jones even invents new genre-savvy verbs, such as the killer “Hoddering” after an intended victim. The fact that the killer is named Billy Jean and wears a Michael Jackson mask is a nice, absurd touch. The plot itself takes place in that strange liminal space between a film and its sequel. What happens to a final girl and her community after the killer is vanquished but before he miraculously recovers and kills again. Hint: one of the final girls nurses him back to health by feeding him burritos.

Slasher film fans will appreciate film references and jokes, but everyone else risks being left in the dark.


Boris Karloff's Tales of the Frightened


While virtually everyone has some familiarity with Karloff’s films, it’s not as well know that he also narrated books and performed radio dramas. Boris Karloff Presents: Tales of the Frightened is a delightful audio collection of short stories narrated by Karloff himself. Each story is approximately five minutes long, usually involving murder or freak accidents, yet without being overly gruesome or explicit. Nonetheless, each story has a bit of a mean-spirited twist ending that implicates the listener as the next victim.

I really do enjoy Boris Karloff’s voice. While narrating these stories, he comes off as a kind-hearted man who is paradoxically saying creepy things. I confess, I’ve actually fallen asleep to this recording several times in the last month, because it has a weirdly cozy, comforting vibe.

There is also an out-of-print paperback edition containing the same stories, but the recording is currently available as an Audible download  Audible download for the low, low price of $4.87.